Harry Potter's Narnian Middle Earth
by Pelahnar
Summary: This is a medley of names, places, and events from the three greatest series of this century and the last HP, LOTR, and Chronicles of Narnia twisted and changed almost beyond recognition, then thrown together into a funny, cute story. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I am not any one of the three literary geniuses of the twenty and twenty-first centuries. Their names are J.R.R Tolkien, C.S Lewis, and J.K. Rowling. None of these names are mine, but if I ever aspire to become such a genius, remind me to publish stories with at least two initials. **

**A/N: I'm not any of the above people, but neither am I the author of this fanfic. My mom (not one of the above either) wrote this in 2007, before I had discovered fanfiction. Because she doesn't write for this site, I have 'stolen' it (with permission) and posted it under my own name. I hope you enjoy it - I did!**

**A/N 2: To understand the story, you do have to have a detailed understanding of Harry Potter, the Lord of the Rings, and the Chronicles of Narnia. Names, places, and even events have been taken and put together in strange ways, so you need to know them all Note: this does _not_ mean that all the people and places are what they were in the books - they're not, not at all.**

Harry Potter lived in The Shire where eons before the famous White Witch of Privet Drive had made it winter for 100 years but never Christmas. Harry's uncle, Sauron, and aunt, Prunaprismia, were the king and queen of The Shire. They claimed Harry's parents, King Frodo and Queen Polly, had died in a ship wreck on a voyage to the Grey Havens. The truth was that while King Frodo and Queen Polly were on their voyage to the Grey Havens, Sauron and Prunaprismia took over The Shire and sent a message by Nazgul to King Frodo and Queen Polly that Harry would be killed if they tried to come back.

Sauron and Prunaprismia were disguises for the evil sorcerer, Voldemort, and the fiendish enchantress, Jadis, who was a sister of the White Witch of Privet Drive. SV (Sauron/Vodemort) insisted he was Frodo's twin brother who had been kidnaped from Cair Paravel, a castle in Mirkwood, immediately after, he claimed, he and Frodo were born. SV said a wicked nurse stole him leaving a note warning King Frodo and Queen Polly never to announce having twins or Frodo would be taken. This, SV fabricated, explained why no one in The Shire had ever heard that Frodo had a twin. Nothing SV said, of course, was true.

King Frodo and Queen Polly sailed to the eastern rim of the world and discovered Narnia, the Last Homely House of the Elves. There they met Dumbledore, Aslan and Gandalf, the wisest wizards in that world. They asked the wizards for help to rescue Harry and The Shire from SV and Jadis.

Dumbledore, Aslan and Gandalf told King Frodo and Queen Polly they would need to take an apple from Diagon Alley to Elrond's very sick mother in London before Voldemort and Jadis found the stone knife lost in Cauldron Pool and guarded by a dragon. They told King Frodo and Queen Polly to look for the hobbits who lived in Underworld and ask for their help. King Frodo and Queen Polly got to Underworld by being pulled through a picture of a Narnian ship. They were rescued from drowning by Puddleglum, Sirius Black and Legolas.

These three hobbits took them to the Prancing Pony Inn on the Island of the Dufflepuds. They had to hide in suits of armor from Nine Dementors searching for the stone knife. After the Dementors left, Puddleglum, Sirius Black and Legolas led King Frodo and Queen Polly across the Forbidden Forest and through the Mines of Moria. At Lantern Waste, King Frodo and Queen Polly were lured away from their guides into a cave by a giant, three-headed spider named Gollum. Gollum was sent by Voldemort and Jadis to trap King Frodo and Queen Polly. King Frodo and Queen Polly escaped from Gollum by playing a flute and putting on invisible cloaks.

In Helm's Deep, King Frodo and Queen Polly met a boy named Eustace and a girl named Hermione. Eustace and Hermione volunteered to go to the Shire and take Harry to live with the talking animals of Rivendell until King Frodo and Queen Polly had freed The Shire. A dwarf, Hagrid, and a lion, Aragorn, promised to help Eustace and Hermione protect Harry.

Minerva, Aravis, and Galadriel McGonagall, the Twisted Sisters band who escaped from The Shire, found King Frodo and Queen Polly where they were staying at Hogsmead in Badger's hole called Bag End waiting for further instructions from Dumbledore, Aslan and Gandalf. They told King Frodo and Queen Polly that Pippin and Merry from Hogwarts had broken the magic silver chair in Mordor. This forced the dragon guarding Cauldron Pool to fly into Mt. Doom.

The next day, an owl named Hedwig brought, the stone knife to King Frodo and Queen Polly. Now, King Frodo and Queen Polly needed to go to Diagon Alley to get an apple. But, as soon as King Frodo touched the stone knife, both he and Queen Polly fell into a deep enchanted sleep.

Meanwhile, Eustace and Hermione sneaked into Cair Paravel in the The Shire by hiding in barrels that were being floated up an underground water-way to the castle storerooms. They found Harry by looking into the Mirror of Erised that an old man, Bilbo, showed them. Harry was in the Chamber of Secrets with a tutor named Trumpkin, a nurse named Mrs. Beaver and a guard named Pettigrew. Eustace and Hermione turned Pettigrew into a rat. Trumpkin and Mrs. Beaver led Harry, Eustace and Hermione up a long, upward sloping road lined with pale green lamps. The lamps began to go out until the travelers were left in the dark. Then a balrog began to chase them and they found a small hole to crawl through. Once out, they discovered that they were on the Island of Ramandu.

From Ramamdu, Harry, Eustace and Hermione sailed on The Dawn Treader to Hogsmead. Minerva , Aravis, and Galadriel McGonagall explained how King Frodo and Queen Polly had become enchanted. Harry decided to go to Diagon Alley to get the apple for Elrond's sick mother in London. He, Aravis and Hermione flew on a hippogriff to Diagon Alley.

A high wall surrounded Diagon Alley, which was a garden, on a very high, steep hill. Harry climbed the hill alone and walked around the wall until he came to a huge golden gate. Above the gate an inscription read, "Speak 'Friend' and Enter". Harry tried to think of all the magic passwords he had ever heard. After sitting by the gate for several hours, Harry heard a voice. He turned and saw a girl standing inside the garden by the gate. The girl's name was Jill. She told Harry to do exactly what the words said. Harry felt irritated and said, "I suppose you think all I have to say is 'friend', then." Instantly, the gate swung silently open.

Inside the garden, Harry followed Jill. They pushed their way through rows of heavy fur coats. Beyond the coats, Harry saw beautiful waterfalls and arches. He heard elves laughing and singing in the trees. Jill led Harry to the tallest tree in the center of the garden. Beautiful silver apples hung from all the branches. Harry touched a branch to pull an apple close enough to pick. At Harry's touch, the branches began whipping all around and Harry could not get close to any of the apples without danger of getting punched.

Jill explained that it was a whomping apple tree. It would be still only for those who sing, "The Road Goes On and On". Harry sang and the tree stood still. Still singing, Harry picked a large silver apple and put it in his pocket. Then Harry and Jill walked back to the golden gate. Jill told Harry to look for yellow and green rings in the tower of Orthanc.

Aravis and Hermione joined Harry and they traveled through the Misty Mountains to Orthanc. At the top of the tower, Sir Cadagan challenged them to a duel of riddles. After asking a riddle Sir Cadagan could not answer making him so angry he fell off his horse, Harry, Aravis and Hermione climbed a ladder into a dusty, attic room. A humming sound led them to a box of green and yellow rings. Gimli, a small giant, suddenly popped out of the fireplace. Gimli told the three of them that the Green rings would take them out of this world to the place they named and the yellow would bring them back to Orthanc. They each put a yellow ring in their pockets. Then they said, "London" as they picked up a green ring. Instantly, they were in London beside Elrond's very sick mother.

But, Harry had been thinking. Maybe the apple would help his parents wake-up. As he thought about putting on a yellow ring, he noticed a remembrall smoking red on the table by the mother's bed. Harry remembered that saving The Shire depended on giving Elrond's mother the apple. So, Harry cut the apple in slices and fed it to her. By the last bite, she was sitting up and smiling. She told Harry, Aravis and Hermione to take the seeds home with them. She also said that Peter, Susan, Edmond and Lucy Pevensy would help them save The Shire.

Holding hands with Peter, Susan, Edmond, and Lucy, the three put on their yellow rings. In the Orthanc attic, they found a map of Cair Paravel and a key. On the map, rune writing appeared in the firelight. Gimli read the runes. They said the key was for the treasure room in Cair Paravel. When the door was unlocked, they would find a potion to turn Voldemort and Jadis into mindless gits. This would free The Shire forever.

So, that is what they did. Then Harry planted the whomping apple seeds in the ground beside his sleeping parents. In five minutes, it grew up and produced silver and red apples. Harry picked an apple and cut slivers which he put in King Frodo and Queen Polly's mouths. In a few seconds, both of them woke-up and were very glad to see Harry. They all went home to Cair Paravel in The Shire. Everybody lived happily ever after.

**A/N: WELL? Did you like it? Please review and I'll pass on anything you say to my mom!**


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